Zero buffalo (AKA: Endo sucks).

Shattering my hopes and dreams, we drove a long 4.5 hours to Buffalo, NY and didn't see one buffalo.

Buffalo, you BLUFFalo. What I did see is an experienced, highly rated excision surgeon who wants to cut my endometriosis out and punch it in the face.

Quick snapshot of endo for you guys:

Endo sucks.

Really, really sucks.

Endo, in loose textbook terms:

Endo sucks. "Endometriosis happens when tissue that would usually grow inside the uterus instead grows outside of it, commonly on the ovaries, bowel, bladder, and elsewhere throughout the pelvic cavity. Because it's uterine tissue, it also bleeds monthly, but the body is unable to clear away this blood, leading to swelling, inflammation, and continued growth of the tissue, often forming cysts." source It causes your organs to be fused together and begin shutting down or malfunctioning, causing further pain and sickness, remedied only by extensive surgery. It causes extensive polyps, cysts, and fibroids to grow and wreak havoc on your insides. It also causes 35-50% of all infertility cases. And it sucks.

In personal terms:

How many times do I have to say it sucks? It sucks your energy, your motivation, your intimacy, your focus, your strength, your normal trips to the bathroom, your iron levels from such massive blood loss, your schedule, your fun, your freedom and flexibility, your dependability, your friendships, your word, your hopes & dreams, your family, your career, and pretty much your entire life.

And it looks like this. Every time.

Puking. Diarrhea. Tears. Mascara-streaked pillow cases. Screaming. Writhing in pain. Being carried to the toilet or walking hunched so far over your boobs touch your belly button. Waking up on the bathroom floor, freezing, shaking, and wet with tears and blood.

Graphic. I know. I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. It should. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable Even sharing these photos makes me uncomfortable. It sucks and 1 in 10 women have it, but each of those women will wait an average of 7 years for a diagnosis and proper treatment. SEVEN YEARS. And it sucks that the medical field is SO ignorant and outdated research and education-wise when it comes to endo. It sucks that I have to travel almost 5 hours to find a surgeon competent enough to (follow the hair-removal analogy I'm using here) pluck the endo out of my body and organs, instead of shaving it or waxing it off like most do, just to have it sprout back up.

But. I found one. And to me, 5 hours is more than worth it for me to try to get my body and my life back.

My appointment went great. I have full confidence in returning to have excision surgery with this new surgeon at the end of the summer. Excision surgery is the gold standard and only proven successful way to remove endo. While there is still no cure, I'll settle for 99% less symptoms.

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